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"I am writing to tell you that I have been accepted to Harvard B-School. I want to thank you for all your help!! I couldn't have done it without you. You have my deepest gratitude."
I wanted to say Thank you!! For the wonderful Sample Essay I received. It not only blew me away on how structured it was, but also gave me the confidence and direction I needed to help create new window of opportunities for me!
Writing—2 : This response demonstrates limited cohesion and skill in the use and control of language. The writer has provided a skeletal organizational structure for the essay, with a brief introduction that sets up the writer’s central claim, and paragraphs that roughly follow the order of the points the writer intends to discuss: Bogard uses many features such as touch, feeling, seeing or even our own senses. However, the essay lacks a progression of ideas within paragraphs; instead, ideas are disconnected from one another, so although the essay has the appearance of being ordered into logical paragraphs, the actual content of those paragraphs does not demonstrate cohesion ( In Bogard’s essay he provides information about technologies that are determining different light fixtures. Comparing how cities and towns across the world are changing thier ways of light is going to be wasted). In this essay, organization and language errors (such as syntactically awkward sentences and sentence fragments) detract from the quality of the writing and often impede understanding, leading to a score of 2.
This is worth . I scored and I can say this is better than my writing